If you’re a music fan (like me) and a guy (like me), there’s always a rock goddess or two who you daydream will one day sing you a favorite song before snuggling up for a long night of lovin’. But rock goddesses, like the rest of us, do get older. And sadly, some don’t weather the years as well as others. Here’s a short (and by no means definitive) list of those who are sadly losing the battle with Father Time.

7. Stevie Nicks - face it guys, when Fleetwood Mac landed Stevie Nicks to sing, we all stood up and paid attention, so to speak. They were just another decent blues/rock outfit before Stevie came on board. Her singing and twirling about launched a million wet dreams. She’s still workin’ it, but somehow, it’s not workin’ for us. And her voice isn’t the same either. Next!

When the lovin’ stops and the lights go down, and there’s not another livin’ soul around…it’s because you’re not hot anymore.

6. Grace Slick - she was a hot druggie chick who could wail like crazy. I was a little young when she was in her prime, but one look at some of the old pictures is proof enough that she was “Somebody To Love” for sure. All night long. Now she’s somebody you see comparative shopping at the A&P - and she’s moving way too slowly down the middle of the aisle…

“One pill makes you larger…”

5. Lucinda Williams - never a beauty, Lucinda always had a certain skinny, skanky hotness about her. First of all, she’s one of my all time favorite musicians - her songwriting is fabulous and her singing is punctuated with all sorts of moans and groans. Drives me crazy. But I noticed something when I went to see her on her tour to promote “West” last year. She was just kinda puffy. Hey, she’s in her fifties, it’s okay to be puffy. But the skinny, skanky hottie is no more. Still love you, Lu.

Passionate kisses for me?

4. Patty Smyth - I’ll admit, I was never a big fan of Scandal’s music, but that dopey video for “The Warrior” was something I always had to watch, just to see her dance around in that leather jumpsuit. My, oh my. Now she’s married to John McEnroe - is it possible he’s as cantankerous as a husband as he was as a tennis player? Have his antics taken their toll? You be the judge.

Tennis, anyone? Anyone?

3. Patti Smith - amazing. Two former hotties with almost the same name have both hit the wall. Coincidence? I think so. Anyway, this Patti Smith was the dangerous, scary-hot high priestess of punk back in the 70’s. She had the guts to let her armpit hair grow and show it to us on an album cover to boot. And those early albums were great. And you always wondered, “If I had sex with her, would it kill me? And would I care?” Now you’re pretty sure that sex with her would kill you, but not in the same wonderful way.

Patti Smith salutes her once hot self.

2. Amy Winehouse - a Jewish British Princess (is there such a thing?) who sounds like she could have sung on any number of the great soul records of the 60’s. What could be better? Just the thought of it makes this horny old Jewish guy a little bit hornier (if that’s possible). Sadly, unless you’ve been under a rock for the past 18 months, you know Amy’s moment of hotness (and it was kind of a scary hotness) passed with the blink of an eye. Within minutes of releasing her critically acclaimed “Back To Black” CD, Amy plummeted from beehived siren to, well, crack-whore look-alike (and act-alike). Here’s hopin’ she pulls it back together before she ends up in a plain pine box…

Amy Winehouse gets on the Soul Train in London …and gets off at the chicken market in Skanky-town.

1. Clay Aiken - dear readers, not to worry. I haven’t completely lost my mind. I know Clay Aiken is not a woman, but he’s damn close. And I know he’s not a rock goddess, because nothing about this guy rocks. But he just had a makeover (remember, real men don’t get makeovers) to coincide with the release of his new, um, CD, and if he were a once-hot chick, it would be pretty safe to say he’s hit the wall with this new look. (It’s also pretty safe to say he was born right up against the wall to begin with.) Dude, fire your stylist, fire your agent, fire yourself for cryin’ out loud. But please don’t disappear altogether - it is so easy and enjoyable to make fun of you.

Clay’s the first guy in history whose excessive chicken chokin’ turned him into an ugly she-male. Wouldn’t it have been better to just go blind?